so pretty. so plastic.

update

Fri, 09 Mar 2007 21:16:59 GMT

so im pretty much having a kick ass time.
i never knew being single could be this much fun.
word.

over.

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 07:36:56 GMT

me and patrick david garber broke up.
he is the love of my life and always will be.
i just need to find what i need out of life before i can receive anything from anyone else.
my feelings evaporated for him and everything happens for a reason, so i need to take time and find out why.
and fix it.
we ended on very civil terms and it feels weird because i have never done this before.
we are still best friends.
we will always be best friends.
and it is for the best.
wish me luck.

caught.

Thu, 18 Jan 2007 22:33:26 GMT

big time.
i usually never get caught doing anything wrong when it comes to relationships....because usually i never do anything wrong.
maybe innocent flirting here and there,
but nothing major.
but i was caught doing my innocent flirting this time.
bummer.
i feel kinda bad that i hurt him....but it was innocent.

pure innocent fun.

Sat, 23 Dec 2006 23:23:59 GMT

well. the bottom line is i have way too many expectations of other people's emotions about me.
and when i get trashed....everything i want to say to someone just comes out.
so i definately did this and what i thought was going on between us didnt exist therefore
making me look foolish and way too hopeful about something that wasnt going to happen anyway.

i hate you, hope.

i apologize for being such a dramatic..sad....and pathetic drunk.

beached whale anyone?

Thu, 07 Dec 2006 18:11:35 GMT

um HOLY SHIT i am completely done xmas shopping.
im broke as a joke, but done. no more stress.
I FUCKING LOVE CHRISTMAS.
or at least the spirit of it...giving is one of my favourite things.

my lease is up in about a month. where did the time go?
i dont want to move back homes!!! but i need to save some moolah...
something i indeed need to work on..a lot.

i work so much its outrageous and i havent been to a decent party with all my friends since halloween. xmas and new years eve party invites are welcome.

and i feel disgusting...you know how they say when you are happy you tend to let yourself go a lil bit.....yeah i went overboard with that. and i suck at keeping up with my exercise regimen and i dont really have the right work schedule to do a diet of any kind. so if anyone has any ideas for dismissing some lovehandleidge and it doesnt involve cocaine, feel free to throw them at me.

no subject.

Sat, 21 Oct 2006 17:02:32 GMT

i just dont understand what can make one the happiest they can be.
i have awesome friends.
a great job.
a beautiful boyfriend that is wonderful to me.
an ok family.
i usually am able to buy anything i want.

but yet, everytime i look around, i dont see anything. no emotions, just things that surroud my everyday life. things that sometimes make me sick, and things that sometimes i dont even realize are there at all.

everything outside my tv seems unreal.
sad i know, but the tv has taken over again. i wish things were like they were on tv.
or maybe i wish i had feelings like people do on tv. or lives like they do.

either way, i am lost. and i dont have any idea on how to be found.

love.jenn.

if only..

Mon, 18 Sep 2006 02:28:17 GMT

watching House on dvd all weekend long is whats up. i am in love.
party on friday and saturday night. both lame and taking up my House time.

and no more of this people telling me their life story while i am trying to enjoy my high. just shut the fuck up...i obviously dont care.

watching 3 hours of americas next top model pretty much erased any self esteem i have left. but its so addictive. so i came home, and here i am. deep conditioning my hair, exfoliating my lips and skin, blue mask on my face and whitening my teeth. just maybe it will help out a bit. help out with what? who knows.

pat tells me he wants to move to nc. hmmm why? of course, cause his friends are moving there. i wanted to move there over a year ago and he was like nah i dont want to move there. why cant I ever be the reason ANYONE moves somewhere....it really messes with me sometimes. ive never done anything to make anyone not want to live or move with me.
kind of makes me think who my real friends are...

im bored with this. im going to go watch House and love every bit of it.

love.jenn.

yo yo yo

Sat, 26 Aug 2006 07:22:24 GMT

yo. parrot bay bitch drinks give crucial hangovers.
i am about to experience one in about 8 hours when i have to wake up and go to work for goddamn 15 hours, which is until 4 in the am.
shit sucks yo.

why does everything everywhere have to feel the same and leave me with the same feeling of incompletion?

HUNG OVER!!!

Fri, 23 Jun 2006 22:52:54 GMT

i just got back from my vaca for the summer.
5 days in ny/pa border was meh, i cant see how bobbi jo stands it there...but her friends are pretty cool. and so is donut connection!

then 5 more days at vah beach with the fam. the fam part wasnt too hot....well neither was the beach part. i never once got in the water, pool or ocean, it was just too fucking hot to even go outside. i didnt want to get burnt either. all i know is stayin inside all day watchin americas next top model while there are roaring waves right outside is pretty tight...

then pat came, we got drunk, walked on the bizeach, yada yada. i missed him lots.

i hate the hot.

love.jenn.

Thu, 01 Jun 2006 19:39:38 GMT

minus not having very much money, life is pretty sweet right now.

love.jenn.

what to do

Wed, 26 Apr 2006 04:50:27 GMT

so i got a new job. its pretty sweet. i just bus tables and serve people without having to really interact with any of them which is always a plus for me. and for 8 dollars and hour its even more sweet.

art offered me a job at his shop after tricky leaves. its only 5 bucks an hour, but its, im assuming, under the table beings how he said no taxes are taken out. so that is a guaranteed 400 bucks every 2 weeks, while at the job i have now, we dont have banquets all the time so im not always going to have 40 hours a week. so im not sure what to do. cause at arts id get free tats which is awesome. i wanna work there 12-8 then go to my job now and work, cause i do like it a lot. im not sure if that would be possible though. hmmmm. decisions.

worm, fuck and vain look pretty good, not sick like brain which is good. they just look bored. i wish i could pet them.

i dont get paid for 2 weeks and im living off the remains of my non-money on my credit card. and i already need to pay the cable bill, our rent, and im gettin a tattoo on the 2nd. i just hope i dont run out of faux money before the real goods come in.

life is going really well right now. really fucking boring, but really well.

love.jenn.

RIP

Mon, 10 Apr 2006 21:20:27 GMT

brain is dead. what a sad, sad thing.

i need a new job or i am going to go crazy and shoot everything is sight.

reuniting is great!

love.jenn.

Mon, 20 Feb 2006 01:21:53 GMT

MY NEW APT WITH MY LOVER IS D-O-P-E.
COME GET SMASHED WITH US.

love.jenn.

well well well.

Mon, 28 Nov 2005 19:20:25 GMT

i never get online anymore. its pretty awesome.

me and patwick are getting an apawtment yay!

i am DONE christmas shopping. completely done. and done with wrapping too.
im fucking awesome.

i am seriously broke because of the statement above. i have NO money for 2 weeks until i get paid again. ugh!

i dont hate anyone. hating people is fucking lame. why waste energy on having bad energy for someone all the time? just forgive and forget. the only thing i DO hate is when people try to make me hate them. why for? who knows. some people....

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE im excited for christmas and snow.

love. jenn.

jean vests rule.

Tue, 08 Nov 2005 23:42:44 GMT

i still keep thinking about it.
and every single time im not with him....i always wonder what he is doing, if he is doing what he was doing before.
i fucking hope not.
i dont want to be a fool this time.

LOVE IS BLIND.

love.jenn.

this salad rawks.

Tue, 01 Nov 2005 23:53:03 GMT

man i havent updated in about a month. silly me.

ive been very busy the past couple weeks, and very exhausted.
i have to open almost every day at work, and that means getting up at 7 and going to bed at 11. it blows because i dont sleep well at night, i cant get up in the morning, i cant hang out with friends late, and i have not very much qt time with pat. at all. meh. i had to go buy sleeping pills to help. they helped maybe the first 3 times....now they stopped. i dont wanna double up the doses cuz i dont want to have to have them. all i know is the paxel painkiller things or w/e it was that pat gave me scared the shit out of me and gave me the worst dreams ever.
and then ive been getting ready for halloween, which was suppose to consist of a party on saturday the 29th at kathryns house and on the 31st at justin gallups house. so me and kathryn get a ton of shit for her party and outfits and i get a ton of shit for me and pattys outfits for the next party. well, justin gallup ended up going to florida, so we didnt have a party on the 31st. sucks cause me and pat had some KICK ASS zombie costumes. i guess we will use them next year. but kathryns party was fun, me and her were playboy bunnies, very very sexy, and pat was marilyn monroe haha. we drank our yummy drinks and hung out it was fun. billy and justin came over later and billy made me put make up on him....hmmm hahaha.

and TIGHT that on set of my extentions totally just fell out the night before the party. i guess i should have maybe brushed them or something. now i just have one layer and it looks pretty gross. o well.

heathers back from japan. weve only hung out maybe once or twice and talked about that much on the cellular phones. hers is broken, and mine needs a new battery so i can barely ever talk on it. and its kinda weird now, with her being gone a month. eh i dunno. and ive been hangin out with kathryn a lot more, so its whatever. she can call me if she wants to hang out. im tired of always being the one who calls.

AND me and kathryn definately ate 2 out of the 3 bags of candy we got for the trick or treaters. oops!
kathryn: "i didnt have any milk for my cereal this morning so i just at a bowl of candy."
we are so disgustingly out of shape.
AND poor because we go to the goodwill every single day after we get off work. but we find TONS of tight shit and we only spend like 20 bucks so its all good.

i think ive gotten really boring. :/

SAW 2!!! OH YES, THERE WILL BE BLOOD!!!!!!

love.jenn.

oh so saleepy

Sat, 08 Oct 2005 05:28:23 GMT

holy shit.
i thought i had been through almost every situation there could possibly be.
at least enough to know everything i should and shouldnt do.
and have enough advice for myself to last forever.
thats how it had been and its been rockin.

but then...
i actually stood up for myself in a near-ending relationship fight.
it was flippin sweet!
well....not that it was about to end, but that i actually put my foot down!
i was so proud!

but then....
he fucking realized how much he loved me and knew that him wanting to move away so badly couldnt stop us from truckin on forward (or something like that).
AND THATS NEVER HAPPENED!
ive NEVER gotten what i wanted!
so i have no idea what to expect...
at first i was clueless on how to act.
but everything is back to normal as if nothing ever ever happened.
I. LOVE. IT.!!!!!
oh, hes such a great guy :)

p.s. elongated hair rules. esp. when you cant wait for it to grow yourself.

hardcore zen rules!

love.jenn.

so, im negative you say?

Sun, 02 Oct 2005 04:52:31 GMT

i hate not being able to sleep. i cant remember the last time i had a good sleep...or even slept well at all. usually i toss and turn and half sleep, if im lucky. as of late, ive done nothing but lay in bed for hours until its time to go to work, which blowws because it upsets me to no end. i ended up calling in on friday morning due to over exhaustion, and saturday morning i just didnt go in. im not quite sure if my mom called in for me...she never told me. hopefully she did because i dont want to be fired.

BUT ITS MY WORKS GOD DAMN FAULT.
i specifically told them after i started that i cant open cafe because i have trouble sleeping.
and since we have been short staff lately, what do they do....open me 4 out of 5 days i work.
huh uh. not going to work. i tried it for two weeks hoping id get the hang of it....and i didnt. even on my days off i would get up at the crack of dawn...only to be uber tired that night but still not able to sleep. its fucked. im too nice. i would just quit...but i know that they need me and i also want to get 30% off all the books i want...which is a lot.

but i dont know where else to work. i was thinking another factory and making bank...im not sure.

i just want to go to school and actually earn a degree for something i want to do.
(which would be........im not sure.)

all i know is pat is set on moving asap. but im not as fortunate as him to know what he wants to do, have connections in other states, and have rich parents that will pay for anything he wants to do and anywhere he wants to go. i guess im bitter because i dont have the same privaledges, but i just dont want him to leave. especially cross country. we talked about it and it was a very upsetting conversation, we never really solved it....but im guessing he's post-poning leaving, even if just for a short while.

i also sat for 5 HOURS tonight and watched america's next top model. i cried every fucking episode! its so sad when one of them has to leave....but the girl i was rooting for won. what an opportunity that would be....oh to be super tall and super skinny. what a life that would be.

AND its awesome to see on laguna beach all the girls in a car singing loudly to "since you been gone". love love it.

and i miss heather. come back soon!!!!!

love.jenn.

Sat, 24 Sep 2005 23:07:20 GMT

6 months. love it.
the ring. love it more.
having pat as my boyfriend. love it theee most.

and some certain people are just completely bogus.
stay away.

love.jenn.

chump.

Fri, 09 Sep 2005 04:53:39 GMT

why does everyone keep saying i need to make more friends.
if i wanted to i would. its not that hard for me. everyone gravitates towards me for some reason.
but i dont want any. ive had the whole tons of friends deal before.
and it did pretty much nothing for me except take up time and hurt my feelings realizing that most of them werent that true.
so on my days off and down time, i like being by myself and reading, thanks.

i donate all my tips to the hurricane katrina victims.
im pretty sure an extra 40$ could help me out, but
id rather it go to a better cause than my gas tank.

im undoubtedly and utterly bored with my life.

love.jenn.

oh sunday.

Sun, 04 Sep 2005 23:51:30 GMT

cheers to a 3 day weekend. doing nothing i really had planned on doing. bummer.
but, it was 3 days off from that hell hole of a cafe i work in. so thats a plus.

oh, these past few weeks.
crazy.

all i know is:
bitch drinks make me sick for days.
getting 3 pairs of sweet shoes for 35$ is a steal.
smoking a huka makes me sick.
i really dont like shows anymore.
or listening to that much music, either.
i like having only a few friends rather than many.
i like reading rather than hanging with decent friends.
i need a new job.
im tired of people copying me and wanting to be me. no one should want that.
i need to sell my old clothes.
and having a crucial hangover for 3 days straight is enough to make me never want to get drunk again.

and puking all over billys bathroom, washing my mouth out with toilet water, not remembering justin and pat carrying me downstairs and sitting me in the car, falling out of the car at my house and scraping my knees and bruising my arms, punchin pat in the face, waking my mom up and puking in a popcorn bowl, waking up at 2pm and STILL being drunk, going back to bed, waking up at 7 only to feel like shit, cry all night bc i cant sleep b/c my head hurts so bad, going to work at 8am on no sleep and havin a stressful busy day, and then being hung over for the rest of that day and all of the next----ALLL of that is enough to make me sick when i see liquor. which im pretty happy about. it was kind of gettin outta control.

i also quit smoking.
sort of.

i finally got pulled over for not having my car inspected since february.
it was fun while it lasted.
so i had one ticket for that.
and i just HAD to go see pat at work, just when they were having a sobriety check on the way there.
and the douche gave me ANOTHER ticket. what. an. ass.
so thats two court dates in one week.
and that gives me a month to have my car fixed.
well, i never got it inspected b/c i thought it wouldnt pass b/c of all the shit wrong under it.
nah.
i went and got it inspected and the only thing i need to fix is a tire, a headlight, and a short in my windows. that blows, i could have gotten it inspected in feb. and it would have been fine. damn the luck.

oh. and if i tell someone something, just trying to keep him/her updated, i expect him/her not to go run his/her fucking mouth and tell everyone and try and start drama by telling the wrong people. that's fucking lame.

i spent all of my money in two days...on not very much.
i should probably be saving for my car......oops.

and i guess since i dont call certain best friends, they just dont talk to me at all. im not gonna be the one to initiate anything anymore. doesnt bother me...im perfectly content just the way i am.

heather is leaving for japan soon! noooo!

i am down to one facial piercing. oh the humanity.

21st of sept=6months.
excitement!

love.jenn.

yeah.

Mon, 15 Aug 2005 02:58:41 GMT

i love my job but i hate lazy managers. why does it take two months to send in papers for a raise? thats right, it doesnt. fucking lame discount cards can kiss my ass.

david cross is one funny mother fucker.

im tired of this.

EVERYTHING IS SO FUCKING OVER RATED. GET A CLUE.

love.jenn.

hung the fuck over.

Mon, 01 Aug 2005 01:27:56 GMT

dont ever drink and get burnt within the same hour.
it leads to a major puke fest.
a fucking sick one at that.

but it was like old times again!!!!!
ive missed ol bill and justin.

and i have been informed that i am a chain smoker.
agh.

love.jenn.

snap back to reality

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 05:21:59 GMT

yeah.
i was on vacation from wednesday night through tuesday morning.
it was pretty sweet.

first on thurs me and heather dyed our hairs. which was bad on my part cause i could actually pull the ends off of my hair b/c they were so crisp. maybe its time to stop that for a bit.
then we went to lynchburg to eat some olive garden and then we talked to the trickster.

then on friday we went to kings dominion and rode fun rides. i got about 50 million comments on my hair and tats it was weird i dont think i like it too much. then i had some hott dude tell me my tat was "sick" then asked me "how sick is that hair" i was like uhhhhh real sick yeah. then he followed us around and it was kinda creepy.

then that night we drove to north carolina to go to heathers sisters house to hang out with her and her son. it was blazing hott and i was so tired all of saturday cause her son woke me up at 7:30 in the am.

then saturday night we drove back to c'ville so i could meet up with pat and drive down to the beach. some arguments about meeting and shit like that occured which caused a huge fight between me and heather which sucked cause i still havent talked to her but hey, shit happens. i got dumped off at a gas station in cville left to wait for pat which sucked. oh well im over it.

then we met with fish and drove down to the beach. we stayed at fish's gf's house that night and got drunk. then the next day we hung out on the beach and then we rented a hotel for all of us to stay in. we played cards and drank and listened to music it was pretty fun. then the next day we just hung out at justines (fish's gf) and relaxed b/c i had approximately 12 hours of sleep amongst the whole time i had been on vaca.

then we drove home tues morn and here i am. it sucks coming back.

BUT GROSS i got all the bites on me and no one else got ne, everyone say they are "sand fleas" and that is pretty gross cause they are all blistered and shit. and right after i got the bites, i got really sick and still am really sick. conicidence? we'll see.

for once in my whole life, i actually dont have that many close friends.
and for once in my whole life, i am okay with that.

and i would never think that i would actually get addicted to smoking.
but after smoking a pack and a half every time i drink....and drinking often,
has made it so.
im not sure how i feel about that right now. i guess its just something to do.

4+ months with pat and going strong. i am so glad i found him <3.

love.jenn.

Tue, 19 Jul 2005 04:48:15 GMT

No matter how much you think you love somebody, you’ll step back when the pool of their blood edges up too close.